yeah, so I'm feeling a little lost at the moment. Maybe more than a little. I've gone into one of those ponder your life and yourself modes, and I really shouldn't. They usually don't end well. I can never really be enough... I suppose I might expect too much of myself, but maybe that's just my ego talking.

Also a bit srange to think that I have this need to write about it, not that that really surprises me. Writing is how I deal with things. But maybe the thought that anybody could read this, not that anyone will, but still. I suppose I mght think that someone will read this and know exactly how I feel. Maybe somoe who has gotten passed all this crap, but I don't think that's likely to happen. Why would anyone care?

God I wish I could afford that camera. The new place has such beautiful surroundigs and it has me itching to just go out and take some pictures. My current crappy camera is no good for that. Being unemployed sucks. Well, the not having money sucks. ArgH! I gotta go burn off some energy before I start thinking too much again. And maybe I should listen to some more upbeat music. Oh well.